Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This | A Candid Interview with the Author

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Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This

by Blue Sullivan

Genre: Self-help, Non-Fiction
Page count: 218
Published: April 21, 2015
Publisher: Limitless Publishing, LLC

Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This, is a relationship advice book that differentiates itself mostly by not being about dating at all… 

Instead, it’s about answering the four core questions in life: 

1) Who are you? 
2) Where are you? 
3) Where are you going? 
4) Who are you going with? 

The book suggests that the last of these questions can only be satisfactorily resolved by answering the other three first. 

You must know who you are before you can know where you are in life. 
You must understand where you are in life before you can decide where your life is headed. 
You must also know your destination before you can choose the right “travel” partner. 

To address these essential questions, we invite the reader to contemplate the origins of: 
Their ideas on love. 
Their ideas of what constitutes the “perfect” mate. 
Their ideas of their own personal “type”. 
And most importantly, their ideas of themselves, including their own capacity to love and be loved. 

Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This isn’t a set of inflexible rules for who you should be, how you should behave, or who and what you should care about because life is messy, and people are not the same. This book helps you unearth the “rules” which best suit you. Often success in life isn’t about discovering concrete “answers,” it’s about asking the questions better.

Buy the book

Interview with the author

1. Why did you decide to write Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This?

It came from having friendships with so many smart, successful, amazing women, and watching them suffer through terrible relationships with men who didn’t deserve them. Plus, I got really tired of seeing these male-authored advice books that spoke to women like they were idiot children in need of man-saving. 

2. If you had to give your readers just one relationship advice, what would it be?

Look inward.  So many relationships fail because one or both parties don’t have a clear grasp on who they are, what they want in life, or what they want in a relationship.  So start with the focus where it should be: on you.

3. Can you tell us what kind of research went behind Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This?

I did a massive amount of reading in preparation for this.  Scientific, psychological and sociological research studies were really the backbone of many of the book’s core ideas about attraction, compatibility, sex and love.

4. How did you celebrate the sale of your first book?

By having a cocktail with my family and the dozen or so women I thanked in the book’s dedication.  I couldn’t have written it without them.

5. Tell us about some of the biggest challenges or learning experiences you faced throughout the writing and publishing process.

It was smoother than I anticipated, because I’d never written a book before.  But I’d written professionally for about 20 years, and writing a self-help book isn’t vastly different than writing an op-ed piece or a music review. It’s all about analyzing something with as much logical objectivity as you can, then trying to articulate why it does or doesn’t work. 

6. We can see from your picture, you're sitting under a tree, writing. Probably in a park? What is your favorite place to write your manuscripts? 

I have to confess: I rarely write outside and never under trees.  I love the place where I took the picture—a nice little family park in Santa Monica near my brother’s home—but I have never written anything there.  Trees are more picturesque than they are ergonomic, unfortunately.

7. Tell us something personal about you that your readers may be surprised to know.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had more respect for women than men.  My mother instilled a love and respect for women in us at an early age, and over the years, I’ve known way too many women who suffered real horrors at the hands of vermin masquerading as men.  It makes me genuinely ashamed to belong to the same gender sometimes.

8. What do you do when you are not writing or reading?

Not as much as I’d like, unfortunately.  A few months ago my car was rear ended and totaled in a hit and run accident on the freeway here in LA, which has since left me mostly bed ridden while I heal.  So there’s been a lot of lying in bed watching true crime shows on ID and being reassured by my saintly girlfriend, Stacie, that everything is going to be ok.

9. What's next?

I’m working on a sequel book for divorcees called “Your Ex-Husband Will Hate This”.  And possibly co-authoring a sequel for men called “Your Ex-Girlfriend Will Hate This” with a talented young New York writer named Amanda McCoy.

10. Lastly, any special thoughts for your readers who are reading this interview on Doodles, doodles everywhere?

 If you’re unhappy with the way your romantic life has gone so far, no matter how old you are, it’s time to go back to beginning and find out why.  Like I say in the book, “experience without introspection yields no wisdom”.

About the author

I am the author of the recently-published dating advice book, Your Ex-Boyfriend Will Hate This. Tantalizing Reviews gave it five stars (out of 5), describing it as "an insightful journey into self discovery and finding out who you are...Definitely a book to recommend to your girlfriends who just can't seem to find Mr. Right or even your guy friends who portray Mr. Wrong." I am also a contributing writer for SingleInTheCity, RSVP, Slant Magazine and Insite Atlanta.  In addition to contributing regular pop culture reviews and columns, I have also interviewed artists such as Johnny Depp, Jerry Seinfeld, Jeff Bridges, Barbara Streisand, Kevin Smith and Eric Bogosian.

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